ACTION Archive

  • A Force of One – 1979 / Director: Paul Aaron

    Something smashed their windpipes and they strangled on their own blood. Undercover cops are being killed by an unknown martial artist, so who else can crack the case but Chuck…

  • REWOUND: The Annihilators – 1985 / Director: Charles E. Sellier Jr

    A quick glance at Charles E. Sellier’s resume and you could be forgiven for thinking that a vigilante movie would be a strange choice for the creator of The Life…

  • Double Target – 1987 / Director: Bruno Mattei

    I had high hopes for this one. Being a big fan of OTT 80s action overloaders – particularly the Macaroni Combat movies that Italy seemed to churn out ten a…

  • Steele Justice – 1987 / Director: Robert Boris

    Leeeeeeee! If you weren’t named John in  80s action films, you were nothing: Rambo, Matrix, McClane, Burton and now Steele. The cheating bastard from The Karate Kid takes on the…

  • Deadly Prey – 1986 / Director: David A. Prior

    That’s what’s left of your best man. Sub-Rambo (hell, sub-Strike Commando) fun starring the director’s brother, the Toolbox Murders guy and an epic haircut. This film is totally incompetent on…

  • The Ravager – 1970 / Director: Charles Nizet

    His final aim was to find a pretty girl to rape and to put his dynamite to good use. Holy shit, this one is cheap and nasty. Charles Nizet is…

  • Dead or Alive – 2006 / Director: Corey Yuen

    This isn’t Karate Kid, it’s DOA… as in Dead or Alive Tecmo’s Dead or Alive series of beat ‘em up video games were famous for not being as good as…

  • Mister Deathman – 1977 / Director: Michael Moore

    Now I’ve seen a few ropey, under lit and over acted Blaxploitation turkeys in my time, but Michael Moore‘s skin flint flick might set a new precedent in the poorly…

  • Space Adventure Cobra – 1982 /Director: Osamu Dezaki

    Imagine a Seventies prog rock album cover. A good one, not something quickly doodled to resemble a spaceship, fully formed and detailed in the background and the foreground. Imagine Daft…

  • Trip With The Teacher – 1975 / Director: Earl Barton

    What you do round here when you get a little horny? A bunch of moist-cunted teens meet up with three motorcycle riding hoodlums in the middle of the desert. What…

  • If you don’t look out, sucka, look out! Don’t worry if you haven’t seen Fanaka‘s 1979 Blaxploitation flick Penitentiary – in a cheeky nod to Star Wars, we’re treated to...

    Penitentiary II – 1982 / Director: Jamaa Fanaka

    If you don’t look out, sucka, look out! Don’t worry if you haven’t seen Fanaka‘s 1979 Blaxploitation flick Penitentiary – in a cheeky nod to Star Wars, we’re treated to…

  • “Foley is heading for Alien Attack…” Yeah. I know. A Beverly Hills Cop III review. In October. During a month of Horror film reviews. But ill advised threequels probably don’tt...

    Beverly Hills Cop III – 1994 / Director: John Landis

    “Foley is heading for Alien Attack…” Yeah. I know. A Beverly Hills Cop III review. In October. During a month of Horror film reviews. But ill advised threequels probably don’tt…

  • Finish it! I really wanted to like this. Zombie cops, pretty girls, plenty of violence, voodoo – you can’t go wrong. The Maniac Cop franchise is nowadays flirting with respectability,...

    Maniac Cop 3: Badge of Silence – 1993 / Directors: William Lustig & Joel Soisson

    Finish it! I really wanted to like this. Zombie cops, pretty girls, plenty of violence, voodoo – you can’t go wrong. The Maniac Cop franchise is nowadays flirting with respectability,…

  • Zombi 3 – 1988 / Director: Lucio Fulci Bruno Mattei

    “I’m feeling better Patricia, but I’m thirsty… for your BLOOD!” As is often their ill advised want, a group of scientists have developed the cutely named Death 1 contagion –…

  • G Is For… Gamer – 2009 / Directors: Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor

    Do it now You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel – The Bad Touch By The Bloodhound Gang…

  • Dr. Black, Mr. Hyde – 1976 / Director: William Crain

    A screamin’ demon rages inside, turnin’ him inta Mr. Hyde Super strong, supernatural and superbad. Shot full-a lead and he still ain’t dead. Don’t give him no sass, or he’ll…

  • Welcome Home, Brother Charles – 1975 / Director: Jamaa Fanaka

    Black guys may be dumb, but they sure pick the prettiest white girls to do their freakin’ This is really a film of two halves. The title echoes that of…

  • Foxy Brown – 1974 / Director: Jack Hill

    Vigilante justice? It’s as American as apple pie. Here we have a film where Pam Grier shoots Huggy Bear from Starsky and Hutch in the ear, starts a brawl in…

  • Slaughter – 1972 / Director: Jack Starratt

    Who do you think you are, nigger? … Your ass is grass. Big Fucking Jim Fucking Brown heads to Mexico to fuck up the guy who blew up his parents….

  • Evel Knievel – 1971 / Director: Marvin J. Chomsky

    If it is possible, it has been done. If it is impossible, it will be done. When I was growing up in the 1970s, I had an Evel Knievel suit….

  • Baccano! – 2007 / Director: Takahiro Omori

    Don’t you think that’s a bit random…? This is a cheeky choice of something to review as Baccano! is not a feature film, even a short. It’s a sixteen episode…

  • Apocalypse Zero – 1996 / Director: Toshihiro Hirano

    Double Big Tit Bomb! Apocalypse Zero has never been released in the UK, but it is the definition of something that would never get a rating lower than an eighteen….

  • Sword For Truth – 1990 / Director: Osamu Dezaki

    Note that the viewed version was English dub only. A change of language can affect an anime radically. It’s the only version that was released in Britain on DVD, so…

  • Message From Space – 1978 / Director: Kinji Fukasaku

    This meteoric belt is a dumping ground for atomic ashes and industrial waste Message From Space is often criticised as a Star Wars rip-off (and, indeed, Toei meant it as…